The Knights of the Round Table Are Ridiculous
Stories of "King Arthur" span about 1,200 years and have been told by a variety of different people in different batches, and those "batches" were popular with different audiences at different times, leading to a lot of variability in the different versions. I finally got around to reading some Arthurian Legends and they were not at all what I was expecting. The common image of the Knights of the Round Table is usually that of powerful and virtuous knights who earned their place through great deeds, but the reality is that they are more like an eccentric group of morally questionable weirdos with super powers.
The number of knights varies from 12 to 150+. These are just the ones that I came across in my reading.
The Strange Ones
Sir Kay (Kei, Cai, Keie) is King Arthur's foster brother and seneschal, as well as one of the first Knights of the Round Table. In some versions he is an incompetent braggart and troublemaker meant to act as a foil for the more heroic knights. He can hold his breath for nine days and go nine days without sleeping. He can grow to the size of a giant, and radiate supernatural heat from his hands.
Sir Galahad (Gaalad, Galaaus, Galeas, Galath) is the illegitimate son of Sir Lancelot and a late comer to the Knights of the Round Table, best known for being the one chosen by God to discover the Holy Grail. He is said to be the "most perfect of all knights" due to his sexual purity (male virgin, possibly asexual) and essentially has virginity-fueled superpowers granted to him by God for putting holiness before worldly endeavors. He is the only knight to literally be carried away by angels (at his request) to Heaven.
Sir Lancelot du Lac (Lancelot of the Lake) was one of King Arthur's closest allies and a man very sought after by the ladies. He was in a bisexual love polygon with Queen Guinevere (Arthur's wife), the half-giant Galehaut, and the yandere princess Elaine of Corbenic. Galehaut forfeits a guaranteed victory in the battle he is leading against Arthur because he can't stand the thought of something happening to Lancelot's beautiful face. Galehaut later provides refuge to Lancelot and Guinevere, and eventually dies of a broken heart due to having been separated from Lancelot for so long. Elaine was raised by her clairvoyant father to have Lancelot's child, whom she fell in love with after he saved her from a cursed inescapable boiling bathtub. When Elaine finds out that Lancelot is in an affair with Guinevere, she deceives and repeatedly rapes Lancelot. Elaine then blames Guinevere for Lancelot going crazy, leaping out the window naked, and running away. Lancelot goes on to murder some of the Knights of the Round Table while saving Guinevere from execution (due to the affair) which initiates a chain of events that lead to the downfall of Camelot and the death of King Arthur. Lancelot dies a monk. Lancelot rode a number of different unnamed horses - usually other people's warhorses, and often rode them to death.
Sir Ywain (Owain, Ewaine, Ivain, Uwaine,) is one of the earliest characters associated with King Arthur. He kills an otherworldly knight and then marries the widow of said knight. Ywain runs off to go adventuring, promising his new wife to return home after so long. When he doesn't come home (because he forgot about her), the wife tells him not to come back at all. Upset, Ywain decides to live naked in the woods as a "wild man". He starts keeping a lion he rescued from a dragon as a pet, and after a few adventures, the wife decides to take him back.
Sir Percival (Parzival, Parsifal, Peredur) is a renowned vassal of King Arthur and one of the three knights that go in search of the Holy Grail. He is almost roofied and raped by Lucifer disguised as a beautiful woman.
Sir Balin the Savage (Balyn, Knight with the Two Swords) was locked in Arthur's prison for six months and dies before the Round Table is established. He is initially banished from Arthur's court for chopping off the head of the Lady of the Lake when she comes seeking payment for Excalibur (part of a deal Arthur reneged on). Balin ends up destroying an entire kingdom in a single mighty blow using the Spear of Longinus.
Sir Marrok is a literal werewolf that was betrayed by his wife. Not much else is known about him due to the stories having been lost to time.
Sir Gwrhyr (Interpreter of Languages) is a warrior and chief Councillor of King Arthur's court that can shapeshift and speak every language, including those of the birds and the animals. He plays minor roles in assisting the other knights with their quests.
Sir Menw (Enchanter Knight) is a warrior and chief Councillor of King Arthur's court that can shapeshift and cast spells. As a magician, Menw is able to cast protective wards in savage lands and make himself and his allies invisible.
Sir Sanddef Pryd Angel (Sanddev Proud Angel) is a warrior of King Arthur's court that possesses an inhuman beauty, such that he is one of the "Three Irresistible Knights" no man can refuse. During King Arthur's final battle no one dared to strike Sanddef because they thought he was "an angel helping".
Sir Morfran (Moruran sea crow) is a warrior of King Arthur's court with dark skin and an inhuman hideousness, partially because of the "hair on his face like the hair of a stag". He is one of the "Three Irresistible Knights" no man can refuse because his peculiarities made it "repugnant to anyone to refuse him anything". Morfran was one of the three knights to survive King Arthur's final battle because everyone thought he was "a devil helping" and dared not strike him. His horse Guelwgan Gohoewgein (Silver-White, Proud and Fair) is sometimes associated with the other knights.
Sir Dagonet the Craven of Carlion (Daguenes,) is a cowardly knight of the Round Table and a beloved court jester. He was formerly one of Arthur's best knights, but went insane when a friend abducted his wife. In other versions he was a violently deranged commoner who was given knightly status as a joke, or as an award for his loyalty and comedic talents. In one story he becomes administrator of the royal court and bankrupts the household.
Sir Lanval (Landevale, Launfal, Lambewell) was a knight in King Arthur's court envied for his valor and generosity. The king forgot to invite Lanval to a banquet where gifts were being handed out, so Lanval spent the day by a stream instead and became the lover of a fairy. When he rebuffs advances made by Queen Guinevere, she accuses Lanval of homosexuality and gets Arthur to put Lanval on trial by lying about him making advances on her. Despite breaking a promise not to reveal the identity of his mistress, the fairy comes to Lanval when he calls to her and together they escape to the mythical island of Avalon.
Sir Pelleas pines for a high-born maiden who wants nothing to do with him. Gawain dresses up as Pelleas to woo the maiden for him, but beds her instead and Pelleas is heartbroken to find the two together. Gawain then either convinces the maiden to marry Pelleas, or Nimue (a Lady of the Lake) enchants the maiden to fall for Pelleas. However, Pelleas spurns the maiden and marries Nimue instead.
Sir Bedivere (Bédoier, Bedwyr Bedrydant of the Perfect Sinew) is Arthur's marshal and in some versions is the one to return Excalibur to the Lady of the Lake after lying about having completed the task twice. He is a one-handed warrior with a magical spear; each thrust of this spear is equal to nine thrusts, allowing him to slay foes faster than three men could. He primarily assists other knights with impossible tasks, rescues them from imprisonment, and fights giants and monstrous boars with Arthur's dog Cavall at his side. In some versions he dies fighting by Arthur's side, and in others he becomes a hermit and meets Lancelot seeking penitence.
The Normal(?) Ones
Sir Lamorak (Lamorac, Lamorat,) is "one of the top five" Knights of the Round Table, having fought off at least thirty knights by himself on more than one occasion. Lamorak is ambushed and beheaded by his fellow knights for bedding the widow of Lot, a man his father slew, thus inflaming a family blood feud.
Sir Tristan (Tristram, Tristyn, Tristain) is a skilled fighter, musician, falconer and Knight of the Round Table. Like his friend Lancelot, Tristan too loves a queen that is the wife of another. The adulterous affair leads to Tristan's banishment and death.
Sir Dinadan is an unusually witty and pragmatic Cornish knight of the Round Table. He is one of the rare few knights that has chosen to have no lady-love to inspire his noble deeds as he views courtly love as a futile pursuit, and tends to avoid fights. Dinadan is the source and target of numerous practical jokes, and the only knight able to recognize his fellow knights regardless of what they are wearing. Dinadan is ambushed and murdered by two other Knights of the Round Table for his association with a rival clan.
Sir Sagramore the Impetous (Saigremort, Sygramor, Sigamor) is a hot tempered knight best known for his epilepsy-like fits, rescuing damsels, and losing jousts to better knights. In some versions he is the brother or foster-brother of Mordred. He dies in King Arthur's final battle, sometimes to Mordred's hand.
Sir Agravain of the Hard Hand (Engrevain the Proud) is a Round Table knight that secretly makes attempts on the life of his brother. He also participates in the slayings of Lamorak, Palamedes, and Dinadan. He plays a leading role in exposing Guinevere's affair with Lancelot, which leads to his death at Lancelot's hand. Depending on the version he is described variously as handsome, "somewhat misshapen", among the respectable knights, or "jealous of all other men".
Sir Palamedes is a Knight of the Round Table that engages in a number of duels with Tristan that either get postponed or end without a clear winner. He has unrequited love for Iseult and slays the Questing Beast (a hybrid animal of some kind). He is mentioned at least once riding a white or "light" horse.
Sir Mordred (Medraut ) is a young knight of the Round Table, born of an incestuous relationship between King Arthur and his half-sister Morgause. He aids Agravain in exposing the love affair between Guinevere and Lancelot, and both slays and is slain by his father King Arthur. Older stories portray Mordred in a positive light while newer ones have him as the villain.
Sir Griflet the son of Do (Gyffroun, Jaufre) was an early Knight of the Round Table best known for getting abducted a lot. He either dies to Lancelot or survives the final battle and fulfills Arthur's dying request to return the sword Excalibur to the Lady of the Lake.
Sir Glewlwyd Gafaelfawr (Brave Grey, Mighty Grasp) is a knight and the chief gatekeeper in Arthur's court. He is one of the "Three Irresistible Knights" no man can refuse on account of his size and ferocity.
Sir Gareth of Orkney (Beaumains) is Arthur's nephew and is best known for disguising himself as a kitchen boy in order to earn his knighthood through deeds rather than through noble lineage. He is sent to save the noblewomen, Lyonesse, from the Red Knight (Sir Ironside). He defeats the Black Knight (Sir Perarde), Green Knight (Sir Pertolope), Puce Knight (Sir Perymones), and Indigo Knight (Sir Persaunte), and gets them to swear loyalty to King Arthur. He tries sleeping with Lyonesse, but is stopped by her sister. Gareth is slain by Lancelot at Guinevere's execution.
Sir Bors the Younger is one of the Round Table's "finest" and "most virtuous" knights, best known for participating in the quest for the Holy Grail. Bors encounters a lady and her maidens who demand sex from him and threaten to commit suicide if he refuses. Bors refuses, but the women turn out to be demons. Bors then chooses to save a kidnapped damsel over his brother Lionel (who is being tortured). Lionel later seeks vengeance on Bors for abandoning him, but is stuck down by God with an immobilizing column of fire. Bors also takes Lancelot's side when Lancelot's affair with Arthur's wife comes to light, and Bors is the one to nearly kill Arthur in the ensuing war.
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